Who would have though I’d suffer from PTSD?
The years of abuse, lies and manipulation has officially taken it’s toll!
Yes, the experiences are over but, my mind keeps reminding me of them, shooting the pain and thoughts through my heat and soul over and over.
The times of total fear, needing to protect myself is so many ways. The never ending questions and lies. So so much destruction to my soul!!
I Sold things that held the memories in hopes that it would help me move forward, yet the anxiety, fear, hurt and brokenness keeps showing up just when I think it’s finally over and I can go forward.
The intrusive memories, the flashbacks, terrible nightmares. too much to bare, keeping me on a continous loop of anxiety and heartache, questions and tears.
Am I ever going to be able to relax and enjoy life and the people in my life who do truly care? Am I always going to go through this continous loop of brokenness, anxiety, questions and immense heartache?
Will it ever stop????? Screaming, searching for help, for peace for love.
Will it ever stop?? Will the sun ever truly shine and fill my soul with peace and love, knowing with certainty I don’t have to be anxious or protect myself anymore, being able to trust again without a doubt?
My Life,My Thoughts 