Tired…. No more…

My soul exhausted, empty no longer able to shine.

My tears streaming down my cheeks, an ever flowing well of tears no longer able to hide.

My mind in a fog no longer wanting to think, wanting to forget everything.

My heart broken no longer able to handle all the hurt, betrayal and anxiety too much heartache.

So so tired…. No more….

Heart body mind and soul giving up

No more fight, no more strength, no will to go on. Everything has become too much.

Closing off from the world, building those high strong walls around me

Safer with the protection of the walls Safer keeping everyone at bay.

Tired…. needing to crawl into a ball in a quiet dark place letting my life slowly go out of me….

No more pain, no more anxiety, no more tears….

No more….

No more….

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Sad so so sad…

Her heart breaking a little everyday. Tears streaming down her cheeks like rain drops on a stormy day. Her stomach feeling like a deep deep pit.

Sad So so sad…

She tries to move forward, tries to carry on as if everything is bright and beautiful. Tries to ignore it because after all he is with her. He loves her.

Sad so so sad….

She knows he isn’t just hers. She knows he still needs the opposite sex. She knows he still exchanges numbers and messages, does sexting and all sorts with them. All done in private. He tells her everyday that she is the only one for him that he is hers and only her but, Sadly she knows that’s not the case.

Yes he loves her, yes he is with her but sadly she is not the only one. She loves him and tries to live with that knowledge knowing he will never stop.

Sad so so sad…. her heart breaking little by little everyday. Tears streaming down her cheeks like raindrops during a storm.

She knows that one day her heart will break completely and she will need to leave even though she knows he’s the love of her life and to leave him would be to kill herself emotionally. To destroy her world. Knowing she doesn’t want to live without him but, for her own sanity and self-respect she will need to leave no matter how much she loves him.

Sad so so sad…. her heart breaking little by little everyday. Tears streaming down her cheeks like raindrops during a storm.

Wishing with all her heart and soul that he trully meant the words he says. Wishing that he would realise the heartache he is causing. Wishing he would realise that what he’s doing is so so wrong. Wishing he would stop and trully only have eyes for her and only have the need for her attention and affection.

Never saying no to him sexually, giving him free reign to her body and soul. Never denying him anything. So why does he still do all that in private? Why still need others when he has everything he could ever need with her. She tries to make love to him he stops her – causing a little more heartache, why stop her? Making her want to make herself small, curl into a small ball.

He acts like he’s single on social media, has pages that look like a single man’s pages. All the single women. All the likes, hearts, etc on their photos. Photos that he shouldn’t even be taking note of, messaging these women, exchanging numbers, photos, calls, etc. Causing such disrespect to her, such disrespect to their relationship. Devalueing their relationship, their love, their life together.

Sad so so sad… Her heart breaking little by little everyday. Her tears streaming down her cheeks like raindrops….

She knows things without having to be told. She feels it though energy, her intuition and her dreams. She always knows. She just always wants proof, wants confirmation and sadly everytime she has looked for proof it has broken her heart. Everything she knows without being told has always always proven to be right. Her intuition is Always, Always right.

Sad so so sad…. her heart breaking little by little everyday. Tears streaming down her cheeks like raindrops during a storm.

Will he ever see…… Will he ever stop. The hurt, the harm he is doing?

Sad so so sad…… her heart breaking little by little everyday. Her tears steaming down her cheeks like raindrops during a storm.

Step back…..

Take a step back from life,from all your thoughts, beliefs,emotions- everything. Let the universe do what it does best. Look at your life with new eyes,as if it’s someone else’s life. Look at the people in you life – really Look. Look at the way your life is going. Look at everything around you with new eyes.

The constant worry & anxiety about things you can’t change. Feeling drained trying to control things knowing you can’t. Knowing very well that no matter what – things are as they should be & will always be as they should be no matter what you try,no matter how many tears you cry or sleepless nights you endure,no matter how many times you fight,beg or crawl. What will be will be.

You give,you love,you try understand. You shake with emotions, tears running down your cheeks. Uncontrollable, hurting,anxiety. Sleepless nights, fear,maddening thoughts. I will control, I will make things the way I want. No, not like that – like this. No……..

No matter what you try – what is meant to be will be! So give up control,let it go. Let the universe & all that it is – bring together what is truly meant to be. Let all the puzzle pieces fall into place the way they want,the way they should. Let them go where they need to, life will slowly be bright again. You will see.

You are destined for immeasurable love. Destined to have good people in your life. Destined to be someone’s only one,someone’s everything.

Give up the reigns,take back your energy. Let the universe & all it’s made of do your bidding, fill your life.