A deep yearning for what was…
Screaming echoes for things unknown…
In the void of past present and future
Echoes of voices,screams,laughter and wonder
Is what is to be a wonderous journey of the unseen,the unexplained and mysterious?
Tag: uncertainty
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I have not had any time for myself and self reflection.
Now a new year & here’s hoping I will be able to get my thoughts down. I really need it. As it is I feel like I’m on breaking point.
I’m trying my best not to let the sadness & darkness win,today it is a struggle. I’m drinking anti depressants but,it doesn’t feel like it is helping at all.
I am so extremely depressed I honestly don’t know anymore.
I’m so tired of people, all they do is lie & decieve. No-one seems to care about anyone but, themselves – their loved ones included!! People have become so selfish with no respect, no thought for others feelings and what their actions will do to another.
I have always said the human race is the most hateful race and I most definately still think so.
So much deciet, things being done behind a persons back, the lies that go with that. Then there’s the stupid mind & emotional games that are played everyday slowly destroying your soul, your essence.
What happened to respect for one another?
They say they love you but, how can they say that if they continuously decieve and lie, continuously do things they themselves wouldn’t want done to them. How is that love and respect? How can they expect to be trusted & respected?
Let me go into the forest, live between the animals and trees. No more hurt, deciet, lies!!!
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Who would have though I’d suffer from PTSD?
The years of abuse, lies and manipulation has officially taken it’s toll!
Yes, the experiences are over but, my mind keeps reminding me of them, shooting the pain and thoughts through my heat and soul over and over.
The times of total fear, needing to protect myself is so many ways. The never ending questions and lies. So so much destruction to my soul!!
I Sold things that held the memories in hopes that it would help me move forward, yet the anxiety, fear, hurt and brokenness keeps showing up just when I think it’s finally over and I can go forward.
The intrusive memories, the flashbacks, terrible nightmares. too much to bare, keeping me on a continous loop of anxiety and heartache, questions and tears.
Am I ever going to be able to relax and enjoy life and the people in my life who do truly care? Am I always going to go through this continous loop of brokenness, anxiety, questions and immense heartache?
Will it ever stop????? Screaming, searching for help, for peace for love.
Will it ever stop?? Will the sun ever truly shine and fill my soul with peace and love, knowing with certainty I don’t have to be anxious or protect myself anymore, being able to trust again without a doubt?
My Life,My Thoughts 