Immense hurt, streaming tears….

Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve put my thoughts and feelings down. This time of year is so extremely busy but, also such an emotional time for me for so so many reasons.

So this year I’m trying to let go of incredible hurt from betrayal from so many people. Heart broken from loosing my mom and it being my second Christmas without her. My boyfriend doing the biggest betrayal of all last year this time – having an affair that was going on for months. The one person I thought I could trust with my heart, my life. For the last few weeks I have been in tears more than not. I feel hurt and empty.

I feel like I’m going to explode!! How do you let go of these awful, awful memories and feelings? How do you enjoy this time of year again? I so badly want to get the joy and excitement of this time of year back, but I don’t know how. It feels like I’m still going through everything, not that it happened a year ago.

My emotions, the Incredible pain in my heart, the thoughts – all feel so raw and it’s slowly killing me inside. Will I ever be able to move forward from this immense pain? Will I ever beable to move forward from the disrespect, dishonesty and betrayal???

Help!!! I need to move forward!!!

Forgive and forget is easier said than done. Forgive yes,forget no, especially when you still feel the emotions so deeply whether you want to or not.

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Double life.

Please tell me why you need to live a double life?

Either you are single and have fun with as many women/men as you like, and do as you please or you are in an exclusive, commited relationship with one person.

Why the deceit? Why the betrayal and lies? You have a choice, you are not forced to be in a relationship. So why choose a relationship but still in private and behind your partner’s back you are carrying on as if you are single? How do you think that is right? You wouldn’t want that done to you but, you continously do it to your partner. The continous disrespect for your partner and devaluing your relationship, never giving your relationship or your partner a real chance.

If you want so much of the opposite sex and the porn and sexting then rather leave the person you are with and give them a chance to be with someone who is trully commited, loyal and devoted to them. Give them the chance to experience true love and commitment. I can guarantee you that there are people out there who would gladly do anything for your partner. There are people out there begging to be with your partner and love them and give them everything they deserve.

Why be so selfish? Either you are 100% commited to your partner or you need to leave so you can do as you please with as many women/men as you like when and where you like. Your devoted, loyal partner deserves to be with someone who will return the loyalty and commitment, respect and love.

Think about it. You definitely don’t want your partner doing it to you so why are you doing it??? Its Wrong in so many levels!! Thinking of excuses you think is good enough actually isn’t and doesn’t work like you think they do. There are absolutely,absolutely No excuses for carrying on in any way with the opposite sex. There are Absolutely,Absolutely no excuse to be sexting, exchanging numbers, pics, calling, etc with others besides your partner. There is Absolutely,Absolutely no excuse to have naked pics of anyone but your partner!!!

You need to realise everytime your partner finds out about it and everytime you give ridiculous excuses you think are good enough you kill them inside emotionally, you continously disrespect them and hurt them. Slowly, slowly you are hurting them, Slowly, slowly they are pulling away. Eventually your relationship will end and you’ll have no-one to blame but yourself.

Think about that. You are hurting your partner!! You are killing the dreams they have for the two of you. You are killing her/him inside. The day will come when they can’t take it anymore and leave. Even though they still love you they will leave because they deserve so so so much better!!! They deserve a partner that is fully,100% there for them and only them.