Greatest fear…

You say you love me

You say it’s only me,your stupid days are over. Your games are over.

I so desperately want to believe you,want to trust you yet there is still something telling me not to.

How do I know you are genuine now? How do I know your double life has stopped? How do I know you won’t go back to your old ways?

Keeping secrets and manipulating has always been your thing. How do I know it has stopped??

Do I really want to know? Am I ready to hear that it hasn’t stopped and have my heart and soul crushed??

They say your biggest fear always comes upon you – well that is my biggest fear. You living a double life,you carrying on with games,you playing the field yet promising me the world.

Please please don’t let my greatest fear come upon me. Please please tell me you are genuine!! Please please tell me your promises are true!!!!

More importantly rather tell me the truth no matter what. I’d rather have my heart and soul crushed than live a life of lies and betrayal.

My heart is pounding in my chest just thinking about it. Hurting like crazy just thinking of the possibility.

You keep saying I need to trust you and you are devoted to me yet when I did trust you wholeheartedly,without a question you were living a double life and made the same promises and said the same things to me.

I guess as much as it scares me I chose you and have to live with the consequences whatever they may be. I pray with all my heart and soul that they are good consequences and that my loyalty and trust and life isn’t wasted.