I haven’t blogged in ages, so much has happened these last few months.

I married the most incredible man on our 2 year anniversary (23rd July 2023). We had the most incredible Handfasting ceremony.

It was touch and go in our relationship for so long – he is so so much younger than me and he was more worried about his ego, friends, women, partying, drinking, etc than me and our relationship. Life was more heart ache, deceit, tears and anxiety than anything else but, he has changed so so much that today he isn’t close to the man he was then. He is a man among men, a man he can be extremely proud of.

I learnt the true meaning of the saying “A man won’t change because you love him and want him to, he will change because he loves you and wants to be a better man”.

If I have to tell you everything we went through you will ask “Why’d you stay?” “Why live like that?” “Why marry him?” “You deserve better”, etc. Believe me I thought all that to myself so so many times I can’t even tell you, I debated with myself so much it drove me insane. Trust me I was so so close in ending it all but, I thank the universe, the Gods, the Deities and whoever else I need to thank for helping me to hold on , it was definately the Best thing I could have done.

He has become this incredible man, more of a man than any man I have ever met. The Best friend, lover, confidant, supporter and husband I could ever have imagined! What I saw in him all along he is finally seeing in himself and I am so happy about that. He is finally being true to himself.

Ladies yes, there are times you need to cut your losses when you are with a man that continuously cheats on you, lies, keeps secrets and cares more about himself, his ego and other woman than you but, ladies every person is different so think, really think long and hard. Do loads of soul searching, believe me I had to. Not all the guys out there are meaning to be selfish, a lot of times they need to grow up and realize what is important, what they truly want in life and what type of man they want to be, a lot of times it is the life they had to live before meeting you, and it is all they know.

My husband has admitted he was wrong and made huge, terrible mistakes and the best decision he made was marrying me. He knows that what he did was so so wrong, he now cherishes me, and our relationship and marriage.

He will never know the extent of hurt and anxiety he caused me, to be honest I don’t know if I will ever fully recover from it. I do get anxious, those memories still come up, the horrible dreams still happen but, I know it is something I need to work through and it is in the past and looking at him today, thinking about the man he is today and the incredible husband he is, those feelings, memories and thoughts will eventually be long lost memories.

I do wish there was no such thing as Facebook and social media because it makes the deceit and cheating so much easier, it gives people an excuse “oh it was on face book I never asked for it”. Really? So why like the pictures and videos? Why not block the person posting those pictures and videos? Why request and accept friend requests from the opposite sex? Social media is there to destroy relationships, families and otherwise happy couples. Yes, social media has it ups and downs. It helps businesses with advertising but, unfortunately not everyone only uses it for that. The sexual pictures, the half naked pictures, the my fan pages, etc – all destroy your self worth, All make you question yourself, your body. Makes you feel like you are not enough and say to yourself ” If only I looked like that, if only I did that”, etc. The friend requests with the opposite sex opens up doors that shouldn’t be opened especially when you are in a committed relationship and especially when you are married. Yes you can look but, not like that – Not by liking the photos and videos, not by adding them as friends. Not by doing it in secret and definately not by chatting with them and exchanging numbers.

He was always the type of guy that never wanted marriage, never wanted to commit, it was women, women, women, partying, drinking, friends, lies, deceit, secrets all the time. There’s a lot I know that he doesn’t know I know but, I chose then and still choose to not say anything as it is in the past and not worth bringing up and having it festering and destroying this amazing marriage we now have. Here he is now, 2 years later and proudly telling everyone about his wife. Proudly announcing he is married to me. Giving me so so much love and attention I sometimes think I am dreaming. There is no doubt in my mind that we are meant to be together for the rest of our lives, there is no doubt in my mind that I am his all.

The post he did on face book the other day, threw me ( See below). It really showed me so much he wasn’t saying. Yes, he is much much younger than me but, he is better than any man I’ve ever had in my life. The total love I feel from him everyday is mind blowing.

So ladies hold on if it feels right deep in your soul. Your soul, your intuition Always knows best, Listen to it! Always listen to it! I did and am so, so extremely blessed. Don’t listen to anyone, no-one knows what is meant for you , no-one knows what your soul needs. Every situation is different, every person is different and your soul knows that, your intuition and your soul will always steer you in the right direction. So so many times I was ready to end it but, something always stopped me and I am so so grateful that it did because I am now extremely happily married to the most incredible man. He loves me, support me and cares for me in so many ways.

I have been stuck in a wheelchair for 2 months now due to injuries, he carried me where I needed to go before I got the wheelchair. He gets up in the middle of the night or early hours of the morning to help me to the bathroom. I got ill and vomited everywhere because I could not get to the bathroom quick enough, he stood there and helped me while I was vomiting and cleaned it up, he’s made our meals, cleaned the house, done washing, taken care of all our pets and still worked himself. He’s never complained once. He has been by my side no matter what. I have never met a man more caring and more supportive than him. In the few months of marriage he has shown me that he is here no matter what and that he truly loves me until the end.

So ladies, please please listen to your soul, your intuition. Do the soul searching and don’t listen to people who think they know what you need, I know they are just trying to help but, your true, true answer is YOUR SOUL, YOUR INTUITION. ALWAYS, always listen to it. I am so extremely glad I did!

I am so excited for what our future has in store for us, I know it is something incredible and more than I could ever have imaged.