People…..

What has happened to people? It seems the world has gone insane!! What happened to people being open & honest? What happened to LOYALTY? People don’t care how they treat others. People lie,keep secrets,betray. Which in turn kills the trust & unfortunately the people you betray get hurt so much that they struggle to trust & let peole in again causing a ripple effect of more people playing games, hurting others & themselves. Why this selfishness? Why the hatred towards your fellow man? Why the cheating & games? Why the lies,secrets & betrayal when everyone knows lies & secrets Always,Always come out!

I don’t have many people in my life because of the betrayal, heartbreak,emotional,mental & physical abuse I’ve endured. I try to choose wisely but, unfortunately I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt which most of the time has taught me I shouldn’t. I need to seriously listen to my intuition because it has never be wrong but, I always give people a chance to come clean & make right but,in turn I get terribly hurt because most of the time they don’t do it themselves & that hurts more than them actually coming clean on their own!!

I am now trying very hard to get my walls up again & not trust like I used to. Why is it the good people are always the ones that get hurt & betrayed? Why can’t people just be true to themselves & others? Be genuine is all I ask.

When I love, I love with all that I am.” I love you” are extremely important & precious words that should NEVER be used if that is not what you truly feel. I will Never say that if I don’t truly mean it. Unfortunately people use it to get their way even if it means hurting others in the process.

Promises – people don’t make promises if you don’t truly mean them. If you make a promise you need to stick to it. So many people make promises & continously break them destroying the people you are making the promises to & breaking them.

Why is it that people cheat on partners who do anything for them,live for them & give them their all? If you’re in a relationship, the opposite sex should not be in your life at all!, be it social media or private. The betrayal of having the opposite sex in your life & the secret messages which are kept secret because apparently they don’t want to cause problems – well NONE of that should be happening at all!! If you are keeping it secret then you know it’s wrong so why do it?? If you need the opposite sex so much then rather be single and you can have as many as you want anytime,don’t get into a relationship where your partner gives their all & you aren’t willing to give it back. What you expect from your partner is exactly what you should be doing!

The excuse it’s just social media also doesn’t work as it’s still life & opening unnecessary doors. The chatting & social media likes,etc,exchanging numbers & chatting privately,etc are all Huge No-nos – all keeping the door to temptation open & giving those people hope & in turn hurting the one person who loves you more than words could explain & would do everything & anything for you. Who will stand by you through think & thin – no matter what!! Is having the opposite sex so important that you are taking a chance to loose the greatest love you will ever have??? Why,why are you giving your number out to the opposite sex?? Why??? If you’re in a relationship you most Definitely should not be giving your number at all!!!! Giving your number is an invitation to the opposite sex & giving them hope of something happening that is why people exchange numbers. Seriously!!! You should immediately let people know you are in a committed relationship!! People don’t exchange numbers just because, there is hope there of something further. People don’t ask about your relationship status if they aren’t interested & hoping.

People please think!!! All your actions have consequences for you & the people involved. Think of what is important,is what you want to do or what you are doing worth it?? Carry on with deceit,lies,secrets,hatred,using people,hurting people you will end up loosing in the end…. be it your relationship or friendship – YOU will loose & know that Karma is real & karma will give you what you have handed out 3 x fold. I’ve seen karma at work & believe me its not nice!

Love the way you’d want to be loved.

Love like it’s your last day.

Never leave each other or go sleep angry.

Once you fight over something don’t bring it up again. The fight is done and subject over. If you keep bringing past things up it destroys your bond,destroys what you share.

Treasure each other,each day, every second. Life is fleeting,you never know when you won’t see your loved ones again. You never know when it’s your last moment together.

Tired,alone,crying,contemplating….

Today I am full of tears, heartsore, stressed,full of thoughts and contemplation.

I’m deeply in love with a much younger man. He is my world. We have been together for just over a year. Living together as well.

Unfortunately it has not been easy. Our relationship has been one that has gone through many trials and turmoil that it amazes me we are still together. Loosing him would kill me inside but I sit here tonight contemplating whether I shouldn’t just let him go. Am I being unfair to him by keeping him with me?

We are going through so much worry and stress that I’m thinking I should let him go so he can have live a life with less worry and all the partying & girls he wants.

When I try talking to him about the girls, he gets angry and won’t listen to what I need to say. Thinking that I’m jealous – no its not jealousy, it’s insecurity. I’m a women, I know how girl’s minds and emotions work. No matter how old or young or what generation you are from. Woman/girls all work the same way emotionally and mentally. He uses my age as a reason to say I don’t understand but, little does he realise what the girls are doing now,girls did when I was younger and when my folks were younger and so on. They aren’t doing anything new or different. I can’t talk to him as it always ends in a fight. Before he cheated I trusted him with my life, I believed we were happy, I trusted him with the girls, truly believing he would never cheat on me, trusting him 100%, but, then it happened & now I question how I’m feeilng, I question everything. It destroyed everything I believed.

He changed so so much after the cheating that he is the most incredible man now and I can see he is trying. I can see he wants to be with me and loves me. He takes note of everything, the smallest things I say which is so incredibly special & means so much to me. He is so loving and caring and treats me so well. He says he loves me and only me. He says he’s happy with me and wants no-one else. Then why do I feel like this? Why??? I honestly don’t understand!! Why???

I truly love him, I really do. I honestly know he is the love of my life without a doubt. Is that enough reason to stay with him? Is it fair of me to keep him in this relationship when he is still young? Should I let him go and let him live a life without me so he can carry on with as many girls as he likes when and how he wants, go out drinking & go crazy? Should I let him go so he can live with his family and not have to worry about the financial issues & things we are dealing with??

He is my everything,he has my all!! He is my world,my life. The love I feel for him is overwhelming,so deep I never imagined anything like it. After a year I still miss him when we are apart even for a short time and can’t wait to see him. We have a couple’s tattoo of puzzle pieces where my puzzle piece comes out of him. It was chosen because he said I’m his missing piece he’s always had. We are complete together and that is truly how I feel.

So here I am sitting with my tears,emotions and thoughts……

So I was scammed of R7000. How can people be so heartless? I already struggling to make ends meets every month. What the hell!!!

How do these people do this? We work damn hard for the money we have!! They just sit behind their desks and scam people all day,every day. How does it not bother them that they are leaving people in serious situations. Already struggling to make ends meet and then they take the money and make it impossible.

They are getting rich and not caring.

I believe In Karma and know that they will have their day!

My rant for the day!

After a sleepless night I’ve been in tears most of the day. Life has brought me down again. I’m emotionally and mentally tired. So tired of lies,deceit,fighting,issues,etc etc….

This morning I cried all the way to work and thought of driving my car off a bridge. Thinking that if I wasn’t here Maybe, just maybe life would be easier for others. Thinking maybe, just maybe I would have peace,no more anxiety,worry and fear. Honestly what stopped me was a very thoughtful voice message from the love of my life.

How much can one person take? Why has the world become so cruel? People are so despicable!!! I don’t belong in this era,in this dimension. I feel everyone’s emotions while feeling and trying to deal with my own. This world is not for someone like me. This world is definitely not for empaths.

People are selfish and angry. They are just out to see how many games they can play with others life’s and emotions. No thought for the repercussions. No thought for how the emotional and mental games destroy. Not thinking of the hurt they cause.

People who scam others out of they hard earned money need to be hung at the stake!!! How do they live with themselves knowing they are taking someone’s hard earned money which actually barely helps them through the month?

How do you find joy in taking others dignity away from them? How do you live with yourself knowing you are mentally and emotionally killing someone who will never beable to have a real happy,content life?

How do people hurt animals,babies, children,and the elderly? Why? What joy is there in harming someone who can’t defend for themselves? Why do ppl abuse others – sexually,mentally and physically?? Why destroy others? Why????

Another thing that really gets to me is people that cheat. Why? If you don’t want to commit and be faithful then don’t get into a relationship!! It’s as simple as that!!! Why have a relationship and give your partner hope and get them loving you and giving you their all then you go and find someone else? Stay single if you need the opposite sex so much!! Cheating destroys your partner so deeply especially when that person I totally devoted and committed to you. The immense hurt it creates is something that runs extremely deep. It causes them to question their worth,causes them to question everything. Causes anxiety,over thinking and so so much heartache. Cheating is not just a sexual thing,cheating is an emotional and mental thing as well. You should not need the opposite sex for any reason at all if you are truly in love with your partner and committed, the opposite sex shouldn’t even be a thought.

I truly wish people would think before they do, especially when others are involved and their hearts are involved.

Enough ranting for today. I’m beyond exhausted emotionally and mentally. I wish people would start treating each other as they want to be treated and the world would be a better place. Life would be so much better.