IMMENSE HEARTACHE

THE INTENSE PAIN IN YOUR HEART THAT ONLY A CHILD CAN CAUSE IT’S PARENT. A PAIN SO INTENSE SO DEEP THAT IT FEELS LIKE YOU ARE DYING.

THE LIES, NO LOYALTY, SHELFISHNESS – DECIET – THAT IS TOO HURTFUL TO BARE, TO COMPREHEND.

HOW DOES A CHILD CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN AND BE SO SELF CENTERED? IT’S ALL ME, ME, ME, NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCE, NO MATTER WHO IS HURT IN THE PROCESS.

RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT, CRUSHING IT, KILLING YOUR SOUL, YOUR WILL TO LIVE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO FOR THEM IT HONESTLY MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. THE MORE YOU DO, THE MORE THEY WANT.

HAVE I BEEN A BAD MOTHER? AM I STILL A BAD MOTHER? AM I SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON TO DESERVE THIS FROM THE ONE PERSON I GAVE MY LIFE FOR. THE ONE PERSON I THOUGHT WOULD STAND BY ME NO MATTER WHAT, AS I HAVE DONE FOR HIM OVER AN OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

INSTEAD OF HIM APPRECIATING, LOVING AND BEING GRATEFUL YOU GET HURT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN……

WHY DID I PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD FOR HIM? WHY DID I DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR HIM? WHY MAKE HIM A PRIORITY ALL HIS LIFE, ALL MY LIFE, WHEN IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE?

YOU STAND BY THEM NO MATTER WHAT, SUPPORT THEM WHETHER YOU AGREE OF NOT. NO MATTER WHAT THEY WANT TO DO OR BECOME YOU ARE THERE ALL THE WAY. YET, YOU ASK FOR A LITTLE SUPPORT, JUST A TINY LITTLE BUT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL ASK A STRANGER – YOU GET MORE FROM A STRANGER THAN YOUR OWN CHILD.

YOUR HEART IS CRUSHED, DYING, HURTING, INTENSLEY HURTING YET, THEY GO ON WITH THEIR LIVES AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED AND YOU MUST JUST KEEP BEING THERE WHEN THEY WANT FOR WHATEVER THEY WANT. IS THIS HEARTACHE, LIES, DISLOYALTY WORTH IT? WHEN DO YOU DECIDE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND GO YOUR SEPERATE WAY??

CAN’T TAKE THIS PAIN! CAN’T TAKE THE LIES AND DECIET ANYMORE!!! THIS PAIN IS TOO MUCH…….