So many words in my mind….

So many thoughts……

Love….

Anxiety……

Hatred……

Truth……

Honesty……

Loyalty…….

Disappointment…….

Should have……….

Could have………..

What if…………..

Betrayal…………

Lies…………

Secrets……………

Fears…………….

Hope………………

Loss…………….

Why……………….

All these words circling in my mind

Drowning my soul

Squeezing my heart

Moving forward everyday automatically.

The fluttering in my stomach

The sounds in my ears

My soul, my heart, my mind, my body ……….

Screaming!

Screaming so so loud!!!!!!!!!

The tears streaming down my face every second they get.

Use the mask, let everyone think you are great.

Laugh & smile so no-one know the fights you are fighting daily.

So much easier keeping it all inside no need to explain then.

So many words in my mind….

So many thoughts…….

Love….

Anxiety……

Hatred……

Truth……

Honesty……

Loyalty…….

Disappointment…….

Should have……….

Could have………..

What if…………..

Betrayal…………

Lies…………

Secrets……………

Fears…………….

Hope………………

Loss…………….

Why……………….

All those words from experiences that are eating me up inside.

The memories playing over & over like a never ending movie on slow motion.

Wake up every morning, put on your mask & smile.

Go to the bathroom – cry.

When you are alone – cry.

Just don’t let anyone know……

Don’t let anyone see.

Is this never ending slow motion movie ever end or is it eventually going to be my end?